What is the matter with me?

why cant i see things in the right perspective?
why cant i get the negativity out of my mind?

i dont trust any one.. i dont trust my abilities.. (if i have any)

things just .. wait to erupt.. and i feel bad .. why i am i out for a kill? and whom do i want to kill?
what do i get out of it?

why shud i make every one feel bad ? how can i keep my antagonism in control?

i shud try.. i shud.. and i shud focus on here and now on.

how to get the days right?

Poor J called me up at 9 to wake me up.. and i woke up and went back to sleep again ..
so today i will be up till 3!! :((... some times .. i just cant control my sleep..
him and A.. they have pulled me through my time here.. I am glad they are around..

I will go to school.. eat lunch as soon as i reach school..and then kill some time.. and then coffee..
by then it is already .. 5 !! end of day..

Hate this mediocre days.. and bugging days.
gottago .. dont wanna make it worse..

Hey this font i type in ..is nice.. when i am typing. when the letters appear.. it looks so pretty :)
hee hee.....

Some days just go like this..

I am here .. supposed to be working on my thesis. I have an idea of what should be in it.
But then i am not prepared enough to be able to just sit and write everything .. i have to look here and there.. and then .. it grows.. i digress ..and then digress from the digression and so on ..

It is all that rain outside.. and thunderstorms.. it is some how envigorating to see those lightnings..
i love them.. i cant understand people who dont like rains..

I put up posters of my bike for sale today.. the rain will drench it !! but what the heck !
who cares .. I have been yearning for this..

i feel i am writing for people to read.. so i will stop. . that is all .. hope i will finish my chapter on singular perturbation theory today.