Lowest... in morale..

I want to be there ... where I can feel good .. about my job.. and I feel proud about my work and my achievements.. I will wait along .. that is all..

Lowest... in morale..

There is a simple .. really simple Lyapunov function.. I wrote the code..
and then I put it in the main program..
IT doesnt work...
Tomorrow.. I have to go to Florida.. the conference.. or whatever..
dont know how i will stand 36 .. REALLY 36 presentations in a day..

Frustrated is not the word.. given up is more like it.

Frustrated with research

I really wish I had some intuition in to this example I want to be able to say why such a phenomena is occuring.. why the variables are speeding up. When I do a simulation, before things happen .. i should be expecting it.. :D .. not trying to cook up explanations later..

It is frustrating.. this is the time when i wander off from my main aim.. and begin typing useless stuff.

there are 8 Differential equations and a bunch of algebraic constraints.

why does a small variation in one element set the boat sailing??
what could be wrong??
Here are the things that cud have gone wrong:
- Some really hi-fi stiff systems singularity induced bifurcation
- Just a typo error in our equations
- Lack of enough feedback in the controllers
- DONT FREAKING KNOW :((

that is it for now.. lemme build a similar system in a different environment and see what happens.

The beginning

Here is where I will write things when I am really jobless. It means the site will run out of space soon :)
I have always been an audience-obsessed person. My interest, care, enthusiasm, objectivity, intellect, opinions have all been the audience oriented. What I say depends entirely on who I say to. Infact, I dont know what I actually am apart from what I potray to my audience. I have this knife in my hand trying to chop of the pretentious portions .. but it keeps missing..

ASIDE: right now, I am thinking , who is the intended reader ?? of this blog??

Anyways... this audience is so much a part of me.. that even my lifestyle, my hygiene, my virtues, my vices are all circumstantial.. and audience based. I am a chameleon in true terms.
I dont have a color without my surroundings.

So this is yet another attempt to try to be MYSELF... Let us see how it goes..

I am actually thinking of whom will I pass this blog link to.. Let me see how long am I able to resist that..
day is May 2nd 2005.